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5 Episodes
Ohmikegold
An anthology comedy series — each episode a single catastrophic first date, told in dry, first-person voiceover by the person who barely survived it. There are no recurring characters, just a rotating cast of hopeful daters and the strangers who quietly torpedo the evening: a man who drives you to a ravine to watch you eat, a clogged toilet and a smiley-face grocery bag, three hundred unsupervised candles, a date who flees a car crash because of an outstanding warrant. Based on true stories, mostly to everyone's regret — and every one of them ends the same way: no second date.
5 Episodes
An anthology comedy series — each episode a single catastrophic first date, told in dry, first-person voiceover by the person who barely survived it. There are no recurring characters, just a rotating cast of hopeful daters and the strangers who quietly torpedo the evening: a man who drives you to a ravine to watch you eat, a clogged toilet and a smiley-face grocery bag, three hundred unsupervised candles, a date who flees a car crash because of an outstanding warrant. Based on true stories, mostly to everyone's regret — and every one of them ends the same way: no second date.
5 Episodes
1 min. 25 sec.
A simple answer—"Anywhere"—sends Megan on one of the strangest dates of her life. What begins as a casual dinner invitation ends in a dark parking lot, a fast-food sandwich, and a lesson she'll never forget.
1 min. 5 sec.
Marcus, early 30s, is charmed when Chloe moves their date to the park — she even used a tree emoji, which felt like a good sign. He arrives to find her on a bench beside a five-year-old named Bryson, whom she's babysitting for twenty-five dollars an hour: she figured she'd multitask. Then her phone rings, she asks Marcus to watch the kid "for a sec," drives off, and is gone forty minutes. Marcus and Bryson share the iced coffees, a juice box, and a whole sunset — he learns the kid likes dinosaurs, the color blue, and a YouTuber he's never heard of. He did not get a second date.
1 min. 28 sec.
Maya, 27, wakes in Daniel's bed to a single red rose and a note — stay as long as you want — and texts the group chat that this is it. Then she uses his bathroom, and the toilet will not flush. No. No no no. She will not leave that. What happens next she declines to narrate, for the sake of what's left of her dignity, but it involves a blue grocery bag printed with yellow smiley faces. She leaves her own note ("Last night was magic"), steps into the hallway — and the door clicks locked behind her, the bag still inside, next to the rose, next to the word "magic." She blocks Daniel and walks away to live with it.
1 min. 20 sec.
Rachel, late 20s, is taken by Brad — early 30s, expensive watch, said "authentic" three times in the parking lot — to an upscale sushi place. She can't use chopsticks, never could, and quietly asks if it'd be weird to request a fork; without looking up, Brad says it's kind of embarrassing when people do that. So she commits to the chopsticks, grips them like weapons, and launches a chunk of wasabi across the table. In bullet time she has time to warn him. She does not. Direct hit, left eyeball — and while he's off flushing his eye, she pays the check but not the price of a second date, because sometimes the universe is paying attention.
1 min. 33 sec.